"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere."

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere"  Glenn Turner

Why do I worry about things that I have NO control over?  CONSTANTLY!  

Take for example my Visa application to Brazil.  Even under normal circumstances, this can be a complicated thing.  Most of the website it in Portuguese, and when you do get to the English part, it can get confusing.  Then, once you fill out the necessary forms on line, and print them out, you have to be sure to put the photo in the exact position on the application.  THEN, you have to get a postal money order (which can only be obtained from the post office, which necessitates an hour wait in line because I can only go on my lunch break, which is the same time that everyone else is going!) AND can only be paid for with a debit card (that actually has a positive balance in the account).   "OK, well, then try THIS card".   Yeah, that is always fun with 20 people behind you...

THEN, you must get two overnight express mail packages with $18 postage (both ways) and fill out the appropriate addresses on the correct label.  

With signatures in the right place, and package mailed and delivered, it is a waiting game.  

I got my application back within 3 days of mailing it.  Which, for those knowledgeable in the Visa application process know, is not a good thing.  Apparently, there is a new form which is now necessary that proves that I have "the financial means to not only go to Brazil, but to pay to get back to the US" (flashback to the debit card fun at the post office!).  Well, I was missing that form.  So I got the form, and promptly mailed it back.

Now, to the worrying.  I leave for Brazil in about 10 days.  Within those 10 days are 2 weekends, and a holiday.  So, that is 5 business days.  If I don't get the Visa, I don't get to go.  So what do I do?  I worry.  And stress.  And worry some more.  

AND WHAT GOOD DOES THAT DO?  Will it speed up the process?  No.  Will the people in the consulate realize that I am really stressed, so they will put it on the top of the pile?  Wishful thinking.  

These past few months God has been trying to teach me so much about patience and reliance on Him.  And believe me, I am a slow learner.  I am sure that He is sitting up in Heaven, and shaking his head as He smiles to himself and says "you are making this so hard on yourself!".  I try to "let go" but then, for good measure, I feel the need to keep that little "pinky" of my hand grasping firmly on the problem, because, well frankly, because I have a hard time with letting go!  

So, I figured blogging about it, will let me face my worries head on, and call them what they are.  Unnecessary and fruitless.  A waste of good time.  As Leo Buscaglia said,

"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy".  ~Leo Buscaglia

Well, I am all "sapped out".  Enough of this senseless worrying.  I am not going to stress over this visa any more.  If I get it in time, I will get to go.  If I don't, I won't.  Simple as that.  So, all done with worry.  At least for today.  Well, maybe for the next hour or so at least.  Or until I post this for sure.  

 

 Gah.... I am such a slow learner.

When I grow up, I want to be a truck driver.

When I was younger, I wanted to be a truck driver.  I just thought it would be so awesome to drive a Mack truck.  Imagine this HUGE vehicle with a horn that could blast the paint off of cars in front of it.  With a bed and tv in the back.  Roaming the roads all across the US.  Seeing the sights, a free spirit roaming. 

Then I grew up and realized I despised driving for long periods of time.  That, in and of itself, dissuaded me from pursuing that carreer.  Though there are times I dream of getting on the CB radio and asking what someones "20" is.

The reason I'm telling you this story is because of 5 middle school kids I talked with this week.  It was between class on Thursday, and 3 eighth graders came into my class between break and wanted to talk to me.  They asked if I had any free time at lunch.  I said "sure!".  When they came in, they floored me.  All three said "we want to go into sports ministry, and we thought you could help us with that."  How incredible.  They didn't do the typical "when I grow up I want to be a professional football player, or a multi millionaire, or the ever impressive truck driver".  They wanted to be missionairies.  We spent the next half hour talking about following the calling of the Lord.  I encouraged them to pursue God's desires.  We talked about ways that they could go forward in this.  What a rewarding and encouraging talk for me.

The next day, two young ladies came up to me (unknown to the three young men).  They both said, "we want to serve the Lord through sports ministry.  Would you tell us your story?".  Again, I was floored.  These young people were truly trying to follow a desire that God has put into their hearts.   At that age, I more into ninjas and skateboarding than I was into anything close to thinking of ministry.

At the Missionary Athletes International leadership meeting I attended this weekend, one of the speakers talked about the "calling" that the Lord puts on our hearts.  How many young people get this calling, yet are talked out of it by good intentioned parents and friends, who want them to have a "real job" with a consistent salary.  I did not want to be one of those people to these kids.  I wanted to encourage them to follow God's call.  I did share that it isn't an easy life, as the world considers things.  People will try to tell you that being a missionary, especially in today's economy, is a very risky task.  And I told them that those people were right!  But in that, I have also seen God at work.  Praying over our budget spread sheet, seeing that we just weren't making ends meet.  Giving things up to God, letting go of control.  And then God sending people into our lives who felt led to increase support into our ministry the VERY next day. 

I am committed to following through with these 5 middle schoolers.  I am contacting the Eagles camp director to see if they can be mentored by the older leaders this summer, and shown how to share Christ through soccer.  And hopefully, in a few years, they will be able to travel with me to Brazil to continue that passion.

Who knows, in a while, one of these kids may be writing a blog about becoming the Director of International Youth tours with Missionary Athletes International.  While the job doesn't come with a really loud horn, or a bed and tv, you do get to travel.  And the payload that you are carrying has eternal impact.